Well, it's really quite difficult to describe what a chicken hauler is without taking you out on an adventure to actually show you. Picture taking an entire breed of drivers, the outlaw type that is, put them all out on the big highway and let them drive "Large Cars", you know, those big Peterbilts and Kenworths that look like a million bucks and run "triple digits", (over 100 mph), pay them cheap and give them all the freight they want to haul and turn em loose.
Now an outlaw driver isn't necessarily a bad or unsafe driver, I have met many a great driver that would give you the shirt off their back and know everything there is to know about driving and do it extremely well, they just don't like the idea of being away from momma and the family to just sit around the truck stop and not make money. You see, the DOT (Department of Transportation) says that a driver can only drive a maximum of 10 hours per day and then that driver has to stop and rest for 10 hours. He still can't drive though for another 4 hours because the laws specify "in any 24 hour period". However, a truck, and consequently the driver too, do not make money unless those wheels are turning, so the outlaw drivers tend to... drive... all the time.
When I got loaded, I got in the cab and "put er in the wind". I kept the left door closed and didn't stop until I had to... period. I have been known to cover as many as 1664 miles of real estate (highways) in a 24 hour period... many times. The average truck driver is doing good if he or she drives 500 miles per day or 2500 miles per week. That roughly translates to 10,000 miles per month and around 120,000 miles per year.
An outlaw driver however, might turn 700, 1000, or more miles per day... and 4,000 - 7,000 per week. That roughly translates to around 16,000 to 28,000 miles per month and 200,000 - 250,000 miles per year, or more. Yes, you could say that an outlaw driver works as hard as 2 average drivers, and sometimes a bit more. I personally used to have a dispatcher that I had to call immediately in the morning when "he" arrived at work (his comfy little office) and report to him my location and progress. Then I had to call him in the afternoon (this used to be typical back in the day before we all had cell phones and Qualcom communications built into the trucks) and give him an update on my location and progress. Now, if I didn't cover at least 500 miles during his day "at" work and at least 700 miles overnight before he returned to work the following day, he would ask me "Vic, are you feeling O.K. ? Are you getting sick ?
So, hear you have all these drivers out there living in these big fancy trucks and running up and down the highways every day and night, with a thousand lights on there rigs. A true "Chicken Hauler has to have at least a thousand lights to meet the "Chicken Hauler's Association" standards. These guys sometimes get bored and when they do, they tend to let their imaginations go wild. It is a form of release you might say. I've heard drivers on the C.B. radio, and I can not say that I wasn't one of them from time to time, sitting in the truck stops bored out of their mind, cause they can't drive, for what ever reason, ratchet jawing on their C.B. radio trying to sell some of the wildest things, like "Cordless" Extension Cords, Styrofoam Gas Cans, Load Locks for Tanker Trailers, Brand New Galaxy "Mirage" C.B. Radios "still in the box" (hint: the box is empty - it was a mirage!), Reefer Tarps (so that a flatbed driver can haul refrigerated loads on his flatbed trailer, and who knows what else they might come up with. Just in case you haven't guessed it yet... Extension Cords (have cords), Gasoline - melts Styrofoam, Tankers haul "liquid" loads ( there is no way to place a load lock device inside the tanker trailer). These devices are all the figments of the lonely Chicken Hauler's imagination.
Now, factor in some of the wonderful pharmaceuticals that find there way into the outlaw drivers blood systems and you have a bunch of guys ( and ladies too) that just don't sleep, are way over worked (usually by
I have run many a mile with some of the best of the best out there, and I wouldn't change anything about my life. I have a lot of wild (but true) stories about my life on the road. If you want to skip ahead though, and not wait for my stories to pop up here and there, there is a fella by the handle of "FishHawk" that's keeping a blog about some of his travels.
The blog is named "As the Crackerhead Crumbles". We'll talk about "Cracker Heads" another time.
I have personally read some of his stuff and besides thinking "WOW", I was busting over laughing through a lot of the reading. You see, I have lived that life too, for many a year, and I can really relate to everything that he is telling about, including coming off of Wendover Pass and letting er roll... seeing the speed-o-meter wind up to where there ain't no more numbers in the guage (140 mph in his case)! I didn't mention the part about the radar detector (bird dog) going off in full force half-way down the hill either... but it's happened!!!
Like I said, I've got a lot of my own stories. Go ahead and check out some of FishHawk's.
O.K., so there you have it. Chicken Haulin' is what
P.S.
Don't let any truck driver try to sell you a set of genuine "Sky Hooks" for hauling a load of fresh chickens on a flatbed trailer.
Be cool in your stool,
and neat in your seat.
Yours Truely,
"Mozzi"
Thank you so very much for such a wonderful mention! If I remember right, you can get load-locks for tankers at many of the same stores that sell sky-hooks for flatbeds.
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